The best (worst) dad jokes from around the world

If you thought that it was only English speakers who loved a ridiculous and groan-worthy joke, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to know that this pastime exists all around the world.

We decided to delve into some of the most ‘dad-worthy’ jokes there are from different countries, some may not make much sense, some will. Take a look and see if any of these temple-rubbing, grin-dropping nonsenses make you chuckle – or not.

  1. The perfect husband and wife in China

一对夫妻出去吃饭。妻子突然大叫:“啊!我忘了关瓦斯,可能会发生火灾!”

A married couple went out for dinner. All of a sudden, the wife shouted: “Oh no! I forgot to turn off the gas. There could be a fire!”

丈夫却安慰她说:“没关系, 反正我也忘了关洗手檯的水。”

To comfort her, the husband said: “It’s okay. I forgot to turn off the taps anyway.”

  1. Negativity isn’t always bad in Sweden

Original joke: Låna alltid pengar från en pessimist. Han räknar inte med att få dom tillbaka.

Translation: Always borrow money from a pessimist. They never think they’re going to get it back.

  1. A rollercoaster of emotions in Spain

Original joke: ¿Cuál es el país que primero te llama y luego te asusta?

EE.UU.

Translation: Which country calls you first and scares you later?

USA.

In Spanish the United States is Estados Unidos with the abbreviation “EE.UU.” When there are two nouns being made into an acronym and they end in ‘s’ or are plural, the letter is doubled for each word. In this case, Estados is abbreviated to ‘EE’ and Unidos is abbreviated to ‘UU.’ The sound ‘EE’ makes is ‘ey’ which sound like ‘hey,’ then ‘UU’ sounds a bit like OO, which is a bit like boo, which could be deemed as ruddy spooky.

  1. Crimes in the kitchen in Germany

Original joke: Warum musste der Bäcker ins Gefängnis?

Er hat zu viele Eier geschlagen.

Translation: Why did the baker go to jail?

He had beaten too many eggs.

  1. Switching roles in Italy

Italian: Qual è il colmo per un medico?

Essere paziente.

Translation: What’s better than being a doctor?

Being patient.

  1. Nonsensical Icelandic animals

Original joke: Hvernig veistu að fíll hefur verið í ískápnum???

Það eru fótspor í smjörinu.

Translation: How do you know an elephant has been in the fridge?

There are footsteps in the butter.

Wardrobe malfunctions in Romania

Original joke: Bulă primește o invitație la o petrecere.

Pe invitație scria că se intră doar cu cravată neagră.

Când a ajuns, însă, spre surprinderea lui, ceilalți mai purtau și cămașă și pantaloni…

Translation: Bula received an invitation to a party.

On the invitation was written to come in black tie.

But, to his surprise when he arrived, people were also wearing shirts and trousers!

  1. Slithery jokes in Russia

Original joke: Две пьяные змеи выползают из бара. Одна говорит: — Слышь, ты не помнишь, я ядовитая или нет?

Translation:

Two drunk snakes are crawling out of a bar. One says:

Hey, do you remember if I’m poisonous or not?

  1. Fraudulent pet shops in Latvia

Zooveikalā ienāk nikns vīriņš kopā ar leduslāci un jautā pārdevējam:

“Vai tu biji tas nelietis, kas pirms gada man pārdeva balto kāmīti?”

An angry man enters a pet shop with a polar bear and asks the seller:

“Were you the idiot who was selling white hamsters a year ago?”

  1. Confusing food in France

Original joke:

Qu’est ce qui n’est pas un steak ?

Une pastèque.

Translation: What is not a steak?

A watermelon.

I can already hear the cackles of dads all around the world, coming together with one thing in common: the love for terrible ‘dad’ jokes exists wherever they are. This Father’s Day, let’s celebrate those terrible jokes by gifting Dad a personalised book all about him.

See our Father’s Day selection by clicking below.

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